My Personal Plan 2025
In this series, I laid out financial and personal templates. I shared that, over time, my planning has become more simple and more constrained. When I was a “young dad,” my constraints could be a source of frustration. Over time, I’ve come to see my constraints as useful - they slow me down and help me avoid error. They also force me to prioritize.
The lady in the black speedo is (now) my wife. 20 years ago, I was trying to be her boyfriend. Things worked out. Our biggest success is the life we’ve built together.
This series shared tools to build a better life. Monica and I used the tools to build a strong family system. Before there was an “us” I used the tools to make myself a better person.
Looking Forward
Ask Monica what I like to do:1
Write
Train
Do Things Together
20 years ago, that was the basis of our relationship, and it was great. A few years from now, we will have the opportunity to live that way again. We’re building a list (Masters Worlds, travel destinations). It’s important to give myself something to look forward to. Hope helps me face my domestic realities.
Knowing a flexible future is coming, a strategic goal is consistent simplification.
Will this choice make my life more simple?
Simplicity influences my work life, my portfolio, new relationships, new opportunities… when we know what we want to do… it’s important to avoid taking on (pleasant) distractions.
Ask Monica what I don’t like to do:2
Drive
Admin
Take Care of People with the Capacity To Take Care of Themselves
In recent years, the biggest improvement in the quality of my life has come from taking my driving as close to zero as possible. It’s weird how much this helps. I share this not to influence you to drive less… rather, I have a hunch that we each have low-cost items that are simple to subcontract for significant upside.
I’ve had the goal of killing my commute since my early 20s. Back then, it was a time management tool. Live as close as possible to the office. In London & Hong Kong, there were times when I was walking distance. I loved walking to work in the early morning.
Roll forward to my 30s, as an elite athlete, the office was replaced with the swimming pool. Live within a short bike to the pool. On training camps, I still try to be walking distance to the pool.
Across my 40s, I gradually ended up driving more and more. My current beef with driving is the fatigue it generates for limited benefit. It’s an easily subcontracted aspect of my life.
In my 50s, I decided to take action. It cost me ~2% of my family budget to get it off my plate. Huge payback.
For reference, when the kids were little, our childcare budget got close to ~30% of my family budget. That was a big payback (happy marriage, fit spouse) but it was big money. Creating space for your spouse to exercise (M), or be less miserable (me), is money well spent.
If you have little kids, then my advice is to focus spending on creating little bits of weekly relief. I’ve written about the benefits of having someone else put a toddler to bed. A couple “nights off” a week, got me through a challenging period.
The return on not having to drive surprised me. Your spending need only make sense to you.
Long-Term Connection
I spent the last week of September in Tucson. I got to visit with friends and listen to how they met each other. I was surprised to be reminded of my role in connecting many of them. It was a reminder of the enduring good that can come from working inside a great business.
I played a key role in making other people’s lives better, and “better” continues to ripple outwards. Building & shipping in a business context has endured longer than I would have expected.
I need to be careful that my drive for simplification doesn’t close opportunities for connection.
What To Do & How To Be
A few bullet points for my future self…
You know what you need to do, focus on how to be.
More fun.
Less mean.
More relaxed
Recognize your role in choosing & training your emotions.
The simplification project will never end. Be patient and change slowly.
Small expenditures, well targeted, can have big outcomes.
Be open to connection. Connection and commitment are separate things.
Can the most important people in your life rattle off exactly what you like to do?
Don’t assume they can. It took 20 years for me to figure it out (first) then effectively communicate it (second).
She claimed she could rattle off 20+ things, “Do you need me to keep going…?”