This is part four of a series of briefing notes for an upcoming family meeting. Here are the links to Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
We ended Part Three discussing using environment to find our people.
We started Part One discussing the financials surrounding my decision to drop a family club membership.
I often use money math when I want to make decisions for non-financial reasons.
What follows is my non-financial reasoning for the people I spend time with.
Think Small
When we discuss “environment” we often think big.
Socioeconomic Class
City
Neighborhood
Organization
Many families pay big money to get their kids into excellent environments. Most notably, private education.1
Our environment is far smaller than our club, neighborhood, school or organization.
It’s the people with whom we interact:
How those people make us feel.
The directions those people pull our desires.
Story Time
I started my finance career in the summer of 1990. Arriving in London, I found myself in an organization where I was not a high-performer.
I was clueless and didn’t know it.
This was a huge change from university and high school => where all of us were inexperienced, and most of us were socially inept.
Fortunately, my desk was within eyeshot of the Managing Partner, and my boss found my idiosyncrasies entertaining. Being productive saved me. To give you a feel for my style, one management team nicknamed me “the Rottweiler.”
Why did this environment work for me?
It was a small group of people, all of whom were high performers.
What were our goals?
Do great deals.
What did we talk about?
Everything.
No taboo topics.
Our mistakes.
How to do better.
What was the quality of the median person?
High.
Sort the partnership on any criteria you want.
I wasn’t top quartile in anything.
In this type of environment, we either rapidly improve or quickly exit.
Fortunately, I improved.
The Micro Environment
What’s this have to do with family planning?
Everything.
Consider the criteria that are important to YOUR family, and write them down. You can find the values of my marriage in these articles.
Have a look at your environment, defined as the average of your closest peers.
What are their goals?
What do they talk about?
How do they stack up?
Back to the ski club decision => I realized many members were taking their health, and kids, somewhere I didn’t want to go.
Health
Human Capital
These two issues nudged me out of High Finance.2
How To Peer Pivot
I made a choice to marry a woman who loves to swim. If she’s swimming, and I’m nearby, that’s good for our marriage.3
What’s the equivalent for your spouse?
To get close to someone; share experiences in their best environment.4
Not in a relationship, and want one?
What is the environment that brings out the best in you?
Mine is exercising, ideally, outdoor in nature.
Before we decided to build a life together, my wife and I spent a lot of time training together, outside in nature.
It’s not rocket science.
Becoming World Class
Not better than others.
Better than we ever thought possible.
Boulder 2024 => I’ve been clawing my way up the swimming hierarchy. If I work smart then I might qualify as the median swimmer in a year, or so.5
Above me => Olympic Medalists, Aspiring Olympians, Elites and my wife.
Shared Goals
Strong Personalities
People Who Enjoy “The Work”
When I look at the environments, and teams, I choose for my family, this is the framework I use.
It’s important to recognize, and exit, when the team/coach isn’t a good fit.
Where will you find your people?
What environment brings out your best self?
That’s where you belong.
Onward to Part Five
For the math on private education see Part One of my series on Kids & Money.
I’m hard on The Demographic. I know a few individuals who figured out how to thrive inside it. See my Live Like A Billionaire Series on my archive blog. Part One, Part Two and Part Three. The well-adjusted rich are the exception, especially among their descendants.
There’s something simple available in every relationship. I hope you find it. Don’t worry if it seems weird… our relationships only need to make sense to ourselves.
This is why coaching high-performing amateurs is special. The coach is involved in the favorite part of the athlete’s life. Bring this lesson to your parenting & mentoring. Participate in the joy and wonder of kids, especially from 2-12 years old.
If you’re passionate about triathlon then track down Julie and come join us. Like Coach Prime says… we ain’t hard to find.