Creating A Vibe Shift

Navigating Life's Transitions

Gordo Byrn

Jul 17, 2025

Last week’s two-hour cocktail party crew. I started these two years ago to improve my ability to engage with people. Back then I would hide in the kitchen and mix drinks. Two years along, I can cross the room and talk with my friends.

My recent race in Roth was the culmination of a 1,000-day campaign to get in shape.

My 1,000-day campaign was subject to extreme goal inflation.

Get in shape, became…
Start doing ultra distance races, became…
Get faster than my buddy, Albert…
Win my age group at top events…
Go faster than anyone my age, has ever gone.

Embracing Desire

Desire isn’t a bad thing. It happens in all domains of our lives…

Wealth and finances.
House size and neighborhood.
Strength and muscle size.
Promotions at work.

If there’s status available then people are going to compete. In my circle, it doesn’t take much to get us started.

We could say…

People Are Going To Compete

What we need to watch is where our desires are taking us. Is this a place we want to go?

Competition can lead us away from where we want to go. Picture an individual with the capacity to be world-class at something that costs them their health/family/relationships. To help you choose wisely, I wrote a series about Choosing Your Ambitious Journey.

The end of a 1,169-day journey. 28,000 hours. The time will pass regardless.

Life Is A Journey

I view journeys as games. Goal inflation is happening because we are becoming more skillful players (or we’re on a run of good fortune).

The journey is not about the goal.
We are not our goals.
We are free to change our approach, at any time.

Time, and inevitable setbacks, will force us to change both our approach and the nature of our game.

Change is part of the game.
Learning, and using our creativity, also part of the game.

Learning — Creativity — Connection

The above are hallmarks of a healthy game. Look for those in the game you decide to play. Also, clearly define what you’re not willing to do.

My marriage has one vow — I will never knowingly hurt you.
My approach to sport — I will never knowingly hurt myself.

My marriage vow is a valuable North Star around which I build my game.

New Beginnings

Typically, we don’t have a finish line to know we’ve come to the end of journey, or are starting a new one.

Notable turning points:

End of university (I didn’t attend my graduation).
Leaving my career in private equity (initially, structured as a leave of absence).
Marriage (to a woman who shared my current lifestyle exactly).
Birth of our first child (where I spent tremendous energy, and resources to maintain my pre-fatherhood life).

Those are big, life cycle points that many of us experience. More big ones…

Injuries forcing us out of our compulsion to maintain the status quo.
Health setbacks.
Divorces and relationship breakdowns.

I’ve had all these. Smaller ones, too.

I’ve read books where an idea infects my mind and nudges me to action. Nils’ book played a role in kindling my desire to get fit.

You have the ability to choose books that will infect your mind with better ways of thinking, and it doesn’t take much effort on our part. It’s why I share my favorites on this site.

With my buddy, John. John has been there for many of my major life transitions.

Getting Through Transitions

When you are coming to a finish line (literal or life cycle), it pays to put in a bit of effort to get yourself over the hump. For universal life cycle events, our culture has developed templates to help us:

Graduation Parties.
Funerals.
Baby Showers.
Weddings.

However, for many of the biggest events of our lives, there will be no fanfare.

Everything will be different and everything will be the same.

This is because, for many goals, the goal isn’t the goal. The purpose we felt was coming from the journey.

Day 1,167 felt amazing. Many of the sensations we associate with aging are due to a lack of metabolic fitness.

Ideas to help you over the hump.

Document Your Experience — this could be as simple as a file note, or as large as writing a book1. Writing lets our conscious mind process the experience while memories are fresh.

Schedule A Party2 — I set the cocktail party up before my race. First, because it was my 20th Anniversary. Second, because my wife loves to dress up and see her friends. Third, because I need to force myself to interact with large groups of people. A party (or funeral) is a social ritual which helps us process finish lines.

Document What’s Next — With my most recent (literal) finish line, I sketched an outline of the year-to-come in the week before my race. Not sure what’s next? I wrote you an article two weeks ago.

You might not feel like you need to do any of the above. Perhaps you don’t. Maybe you aren’t at a finish line.

But… if you find yourself in need of a vibe shift then come back this post.

What I have outlined is a template for processing internally and connecting externally. It involves reflecting on the past, connecting in the present and thinking through future opportunities.

Back to Greatest Hits

I’ve written four books about my athletic journeys. Maybe your thing is video? I’ve published 128 videos on my YouTube Channel. Each time I publish, I create a new way for interesting experiences to come into my life.

If you’re not at the stage where you can host a party for two dozen people then: (a) buy the book; and (b) attend every single social opportunity you can. Connection is required for mental health.