Life Themes
Did you notice this series was about making ourselves more attractive?
The first two articles offered tools to make ourselves less repulsive. Meaning, we can learn how to get out of our own way; both with our internal experience and how we appear to others.
Last week, I encouraged you to bring more joy into your life. Joy, especially when shared, makes us more attractive.
If we can pull this off with our internal experience then we can bring those skills into our relationships. Optimistic, joyful, attractive people have more options in life.
Marriage is an option I think everyone should consider.
Beliefs Defined By Actions
What is “being married?”
In our early years, marriage was having fun together. It is worth making an effort to keep fun going. Yes, it can take an effort to have fun (at least for me).
As our kids arrived, life became more challenging and my filter shifted from “let’s have fun” to “will this benefit the marriage?” The filter worked great, by the way. Strongly recommend it when your house is filled with babies and preschoolers.
Then the kids grow up => life gets both easier, and more fun. Hopefully, you didn’t forget how to have fun during the chaotic years of starting a family. I’ve found I need to get out of the house (and out of town) to make myself more fun. It’s why I do road trips with my son and the rest of my family. Writing that I realized I should keep my eyes open for local opportunities to have fun.
As the kids grow up, and move on, many ask the question again, What is marriage?
I introduced Simon last week. I like his way of looking at things. A shared life, a fusion of two people… Simon has a classical outlook, which has stood the test of time.
If you prefer a modern outlook then marriage is the creation (or continuation) of a multigenerational family. It’s the best vehicle to enable the creation of a 100-year legacy.
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That brief section (above) is a quick summary of 20 years of being married. It did not fly by. It takes a long time to build a long-term relationship. My mantras over the years:
Don’t get divorced - avoid the choices that tanked all my prior relationships.
Choose things that benefit the marriage.
Have fun, together.
The pattern (1-2-3) applies everywhere. 25 years ago, I started with myself.
Avoid Self-Sabotage - Choose Better - Create Joy
We each have the opportunity to build a life with another person.
Done well, this will challenge us, take many decades and be deeply satisfying. This project can be a vehicle for continuous self-improvement, companionship and learning.
Life being unpredictable, this life-building task may be done with more than one person, and more than one time.
Focus here. Most everything else is a distraction.
This made me realize of something powerful and will write about it and reference back to this G. Really good one; probably the best one of 2025 on your end ♥️🫡🎯