The Price of Pessimism
Lessons From November 2016
It’s been an amazing year for people watching. The most fascinating thing I saw was how quickly my neighbors changed their yard signs (when one of the parties swapped their candidate for president). The speed it happened made me uneasy.1
When a true believer doesn’t get their way, things get weird and there was a lot of weird in my November. It’s the tell of a fanatic, and I know quite a bit about fanaticism.2
This post isn’t about the obsessions about our recent past. It’s about the year to come. Specifically, how we might allocate our attention, time and emotion over the next few months.
Do you have a plan for 2025?
The past is a sunk cost. All we we can do is learn from it.
What actions did we take?
What was the basis for those actions?
Did we get a return on those actions?
How did those actions impact our families?
Watch for… externally directed blame and anger. Specifically, a theme that everything is going to hell.
A question to redirect:
When was the last time I was optimistic?3
What would it take to change your mind? The video below changed mine on several topics.
When was the last time you changed your mind?
Go further:
What is one good thing about this issue I keep worrying about?
What action will I take today, to move my life forward ?
Eight years ago… I spent Thanksgiving week teaching my kids to read, answering math questions and getting them comfortable in open water.
Those actions continue to pay dividends.
Continued positive action is why I have the freedom to self direct my time.
Eight years ago… I noticed the hive mind (I had curated at the time) was incorrect and reduced my media consumption.
Three years ago, when I returned to public life, I made an effort to expand my circle to include smart people who disagreed with me. I read their books, studied their approach and figured out where we overlapped. Turned out we didn’t disagree as much as I thought.
Whatever emotion you are feeling in the moment, use the energy to motivate action to move your life forward. I used the difficulties of parenthood to motivate myself to pass along one of my greatest skills - the ability to read.
As I wrote last week, pessimism is a filter that moves us away from the lives we wish to create4.
Pessimism is not without its merits as a short-term coping mechanism5.
However, as a long term strategy, it’s a disaster. We end up surrounded by the worst aspects of human nature. Don’t align yourself in with the chronically negative.6
In the side gig series, I urged you to always be (speaking to) the person you wish to attract into your life. My side gig techniques are how I built my marriage, my family and my current life situation.
I am surrounded by True Believers (links to a book).
Most my peers are fanatics for exercise, endurance sport or the Olympic movement. We spend our lives pushing the limits of human endurance. Done well, it’s a positive obsession.
Eight years ago this week, I wrote an article on Regime Change. With the exception of my infrastructure hopes, I nailed it.
It can be tempting to try to save a pessimist. Think carefully. Have you ever been successful changing someone’s temprement? Better to replace pessimists with people who support your mission and improve your thinking.
My cyber-buddy Brad Stulberg writes about Tragic Optimism. Brad’s methods are effective stepping stones to improve our internal experience. Remember you are free to leave your tragedies behind.
I am relentless with culling negativity from all aspects of my life. Be careful with joining subcultures of neurotics, who are obsessed with righteous anger, rather than correcting faulty thinking.
When dark personality traits appear, pay attention.
Gold