Making Fewer Mistakes
Start By Talking About Them
Can you talk about your mistakes?
Many of us grew up in homes where it wasn’t possible to talk about “the truth.” We were surrounded by family members who fundamentally couldn’t handle “the truth.”
I use quotes because “truth” is relative.
Today, we consider mistakes. If you grew up in a home filled with secrecy, then you will have difficulty talking about mistakes.
Sport provides an environment to break our habits of secrecy and mistake avoidance.
…and we don’t need to be world-class to benefit.
Make Mistakes Visible
Start by making mistakes visible.
If we blew it… it’s likely to turn up in the data.
It’s also a key hazard of becoming rich, successful or famous… we lose access to feedback. Our “data” becomes skewed because people tell us what we want to hear.
…but there are ways around this hazard.
A Team of Watchers
When considering marriage, make sure your spouse is a person you are able to accept feedback from.
Same deal with the culture of any firm you’re thinking about working inside.
As well as how we treat young kids. Children show us what we are projecting into the world.
Spouse, peers, kids… sharing uncomfortable feedback.
Listening can be a challenge.
Notice the painful feedback.
Make sure to remember who is feeling the pain.
It is arising inside us, because we are the ones falling short.
Coaches
A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.
John Wooden
Whatever we call the people in our lives: friends, family, peers, children…
The most valuable relationships are the one’s where we are motivated to lift ourselves, and correct errors, without resentment.
If the first task of a coach is error correction…
The second benefit is…
We all do better when we know someone is watching.
Towards An Open Life
Over time, we grow accustomed to feedback, correcting errors and having our “team” keep an eye on us.
Once we can live “openly” in part of our lives… …we can consider extending this approach across all our lives.1
If you’ve experienced anxiety then consider working towards the ability to talk about, or publish, your story.
I understand this may feel daunting.
Start by talking about your mistakes.
I recognize the significant challenges we face when seeking to make these changes “up” our family trees. However, it is possible to start “at home” and run this approach downstream into a multigenerational future.