July marks two years from my conversation with Rich Roll. I had been saving this idea for my 1000-day anniversary of (re)starting the process of getting back in shape.
But…
I managed to achieve my “get in shape” goals quicker than I expected.
It’s usually that way with compounding…
Nothing happens for a long while
Then the gains start to roll in, and
We find ourselves in a completely different place than we imagined.
In short, it took me two years to “get everything back.” By “everything” I mean the best parts of spending a decade near the top of endurance sport.
So here’s the story.
There will be times in our lives when we feel caught between:
What we think we ought to do, and
What we want to do.
Nothing earth shattering there, I’m sure you feel it all the time with small choices. Should you have that cookie…
But some choices are big.
Choices that touch on our perceived identities.
Young
Pretty
CEO
Partner
Elite Athlete
Top Salesperson
These choices are tricky because they can place us in a conflict between:
What we think we should do
Who we think we are
Sometimes these changes appear suddenly:
Widow(er)
Orphan
Parent
Regardless of the situation, there is tremendous inertia in our actions. Meaning, we tend to make the same choices and strive for the same goals. As young families grow, and elders age, a resistance to change can create conflicts between our individual identities and the needs of our families.
My peer group spends tremendous time seeking to become great athletes. Some of my peers are professional athletes but most are amateurs. Within that group, there is fear of change, and loss.
Who will I be if I’m not working to be the best (athlete)?
What will happen to me? my body?
Two years ago, with Rich, I shared my discovery that many of my core beliefs were false. It turned out that I wasn’t who I thought I was.
I stepped away from the external validation (athletic) success gave me and…
…nothing.
My life (and body) didn’t fall apart.
Now, my life didn’t get easier. The difficulties of being a parent to three young kids persisted. But I wasn’t compounding my difficulties by holding onto a past identity that was no longer feasible.1
The time away from competition gave me an appreciation for how much I enjoyed the lifestyle associated with my past identity.2
Lifestyle is different than performance.
It’s also easier to create.
There was a lot of winning in my past but it wasn’t the winning that attracted me to the lifestyle I created. The winning came from a mix of enjoyment, work, talent and compound gains.
So…
If you see yourself as a “former” high-achiever, or
If you are scared of stepping away from an identity that’s stressing your home life…
Perhaps my experience will let you see:
These thoughts are temporary,
You are fully capable of managing through, and
You can (re)create the lifestyle you enjoyed as a younger person.
As this article publishes, I’m in Europe on a training camp. My fitness has returned and I’m capable of the training I did as a champion athlete. My paces are slower but I have the wisdom to see it wasn’t about speed.
Bottom Line
Change is scary, especially change that requires us to step away from our identity.
This stepping away process can be valuable => to the people around us (such as our kids and spouses)… but also for our future selves.
I wouldn’t truly know that I was attracted to the lifestyle if I had maintained an identity centered on winning. The “winning” aspect of sport came MUCH later in my journey.
The initial attraction was having the time and opportunity to live an outdoor life with friends.
If you’re curious about the endurance lifestyle then you can subscribe to my latest substack. I set it up for people who are interested in digging deeper into my personal training approach. It’s also a way for me to enhance my memory (last week’s topic).
I try to be grateful for my limitations and constraints. They often nudge me in the direction of better outcomes. They also help me see, and appreciate, the good times.
Enjoyment of doing what’s required for success.
Different than.
Enjoyment of external validation of success.
I really enjoyed this article Gordo. For me what I took away was excellent wisdom for aging - stay in love with the lifestyle more than the results. Thank you!