Preface to the Second Edition
Live Long & Prosper
Shortly after 1pm, on October 24th, 2011, I was involved in a serious bike accident. I was riding fast through the Sonoran Desert, about an hour south of Tucson. A pack of stray dogs ran out of the desert and across my path. My bike t-boned the leader of the pack and I went sailing over the handlebars.
Fortunately, I didn’t land on my head. I did a complete flip, landing on my back, cracking a few ribs and tearing a number of my intercostal muscles. A couple local guys were driving the other direction, saw the whole thing and pulled over to check on me.
Hey Man, you OK?
I am definitely not OK.
Anything we can do for you?
You could give me a drive home.
Sorry Man, can’t do that. Good luck….
One of the nice things about a chest injury in the body forms it own cast. Meaning, every muscle in my chest was locked tight and I didn’t realize the seriousness of my injuries. I reached out to an orthopedic buddy. He said I should make plans to return home immediately as the scale of my injuries would reveal themselves the following day.
As predicted, my injuries revealed themselves and I was out for six weeks. The first edition of this book was largely written in the six weeks that followed my accident.
At the moment of impact, my life changed but it would take years for me to embrace the change. There were times when I resented the opportunities fatherhood offered. I deeply enjoyed the pre-kids life I’d built for myself and missed the attention my wife used to give me. We’re going to walk through the long game of building a life with meaning, while staying true to our core mission.
The accident marked the end of one aspect of my life, being a top endurance athlete.
The accident also marked the beginning of a new phase of my life, fully embracing the challenge of become an outstanding parent.
The theme of phases repeats in our lives and between generations. Writing the second edition, my wife and I are a couple years away from our oldest daughter’s high school graduation. A milestone that will mark the beginning of our empty nest phase.
When I wrote the first edition, I had a decent idea about being a good husband but I knew little about being a great parent. We had a toddler, a baby boy and my wife (Monica) would shortly be pregnant with our third. As a couple, we had no idea how much our lives would change with three kids. I was away from home training for “one last Ironman” when I crashed.
The setback gave me an opportunity to consider my life as well as where I wanted to take myself in the future. I encourage you to use setbacks to take time to think about where your choices are likely to take you.
Looking back, one of the greatest gifts of parenthood is the difficulty of task. In the space of a few years, I went from having complete control of my schedule to feeling overwhelmed with the task of caring for three little people. Like all young children, my kids had no interest in my “needs and desires.” Further, the challenges and joys of parenthood are hidden from public view. There’s no bonus structure, promotions or accolades.
Parenthood is a test of internally motivated endurance. Embracing the challenge was one of my better decisions.
From the First Edition:
Ten years ago, I knew where I wanted to get to. Specifically, I knew the life I wanted to (re)create for myself. Trouble was, I felt like I was surrounded, and tied down, by my constraints. Over time, I’ve come to see the benefits of my constraints. Forcing me to choose wisely in the present moment and limiting my ability to change quickly.
Part One covers my favorite themes of finding meaning and navigating towards your goals. I share tools to better direct the life you choose to lead and discuss my experiences with overcoming fears we all share.
In Part Two, we discuss lessons relating to health, wealth and change. Since the first edition was published, there’s been a lot written (by others) on longevity. I’ll offer my take as I approach the end of middle age, with only a minimal loss of strength, VO2 max and overall function.
Much of what I was taught about aging was incorrect.
Many of our instincts towards maintaining our health lead us astray.
If you’ve been reading my stuff then you’ll also know I take a wide, and holistic, view of wealth.
Part Three focuses on peers, marriage, pregnancy, babies and kids. I will explain how you can create an athletic family. Kids require a significant time investment at the front end. Done well, this investment pays lifelong dividends for every member of your family. Not only does your future self get the time back. Your family benefits from lifelong bonds created through shared experience.
In Part Four we dig into money. Financial wealth, budgeting, coping with fraud, real estate and capital investment metrics. This area can be intimidating. Hopefully, in the privacy of our written “conversation,” I can increase your comfort with these topics. In my working career, I’ve enjoyed success at helping families (and kids) become comfortable with these issues.
Part Five is a new for the second edition. We are going to explore family governance as well as review a set of family values you can modify and make your own.
Thank you for taking the time to come on this journey with me.
Onward To Part One
Cannot wait for 2nd Edition LL&P! Let’s go!
The 3x retirement rule is uncomfortable… what might I be missing?