Be The Spark
...and thoughts on optimization
Every six months, or so, someone reaches out about how they found my writing effective in their life. I call these moments sparks, they perk me up. I like to think of myself as self-motivated but I’m amazed at the scale of the mental lift I receive from small gestures.
Behavioral economics says losses hurt roughly twice a much as gains feel good. That’s not my lived experience. I’m still happy about Reweti Wiki’s $10 subscription that happened years ago. Rewiti’s spark kicked off an exchange of emails and I made a new friend.
Inside of me are thousands of sparks that live on.
Perhaps the deeper lesson => we value connection more than money.
Each of us has the capacity to be a spark in someone else’s life. The theme of last week’s article - ordinary people can do extraordinary things - is relevant here. My friends, who have done difficult things, can remember their personal sparks.
A fun party game, or ice breaker => have someone tell you a story about someone who was a spark in their life.
It will get them talking about something that makes them happy. This happiness will become associated with you, through no work of your own.
Two favorite stories on that point. Both of these stories happened when my friends were young adults (formative years for thinking big).
A friend was working as an enlisted sailor on an aircraft carrier. He was talking to one of the pilots who’d just flown in. That pilot was a spark to follow his childhood dream of flying. These days he flies for United and teaches new pilots.
Another friend was helping a local vet deal with a difficult birth. Unfortunately, the cow died. The vet felt horrible about the situation because he was going to bill the farmer after he’d lost the cow. The vet told my buddy a better path would be treating people, rather than animals. That piece of advice, triggered a path that lead to pediatric orthopedics. Helping people’s children is about as good as it gets. Whatever happens in my pal’s life, he’s helped thousands of kids. That’s an enduring source when life gets difficult.
When I returned to social media, my goal was to be positive, seek people to help, and encourage people to follow their dreams. Paying forward all the help I got as a young man.
My early coaches never discouraged me from giving it a shot. I try to be the same way with my family - encouraging action in the areas where people have a passion for doing work.
Sharing my journey in sport is similar. The races are beside the point. What gives satisfaction is maintaining the functional use of my body as I age. Function maintained, not by suffering, but by having fun and following the basic principles I outline in my writing.
Podcasts act as sparks in many of our lives. I write down moments of insight and create new habits.
I’ve been learning from Stacy (below) for more than 25 years. You’ll learn something from this episode.
Staving off dementia (below) gets people’s attention. This was another interesting listen.
Having spent a lot of time with the elderly, daily movement and strength training are two things that benefit us tremendously and don’t need to be optimized. Just do them.
If you listen to Stacy and Tommy then you are likely to feel overwhelmed. If it makes you feel better there is no way I could follow their advice to the letter and my function/biomarkers/performance are as good as it gets.
This doesn’t mean their advice isn’t excellent - it is, and I agree with it.
Optimization is an illusion.
Here’s the deal. You don’t need to optimize. Optimization is not going to be the difference between success and failure.
Outcome flows naturally from being mostly right for a long period of time.
When we listen to experts, we see thousands of levers we can pull. It seems there are many degrees of freedom. In reality, there are a handful of choices we need to get mostly right. Then we stick with them for years.
What we do.
Where we do it.
Who we do it with.
Get the big things mostly right and learn to not-repeat errors.
By way of example: marry an athlete, park myself in Boulder, exercise every morning. Results flow naturally. My specific program has not been the difference between success and failure.
Sparks don’t always arrive via positive events. Rich talking about addiction: here and here.
Listening to the episodes, I wanted to reach out and say…
The only escape is to make yourself the project.
Of course (!) - Rich followed those episodes by explaining how he decided to make himself the project. It made me so happy to listen to that one. It’s an effective path to meaning and satisfaction.
This podcast comes at the spark concept from another angle. It opens with a discussion on the role of kindness and gratitude.
There are interesting bits about the value of struggle, finding meaning in an age of abundance, and the role of wonder. Paul and Patrick don’t discuss sport but the themes will be familiar to endurance athletes.
Paul describes Buffett as the smartest man in the world, largely because Buffett didn’t seek to optimize. Then the conversation continues to offer insight into the drive to optimize. It’s a deep insight. A wealthy man asking himself about the purpose of his struggle, then acknowledging his need for purpose.
I take it easy on my optimizing pals - while their actions are unnecessary, people can take it personally when you point that out directly. I’m able to see my own manufactured struggles (and don’t feel like giving those up).
Fun fact: Paul funded a friend to start an investment business in Shanghai. This was back in the early-90s, an amazing time in the history of China.
Athletic Kids Podcast
If you have sporty kids then my conversation with Griffin will interest.
The most important part of this conversation is encouraging parents to think through to the relationship they want to have with the person their child will become.
To the many sparks who encourage me to keep this publication going…
Thanks.
Might be taking the idea of “who has been a spark for you and why” for the podcast! 😊
Speaking of sparks, I appreciate the shoutout 🙌 made my day and it’s only 7am here!
Hi Gordo! This is, without a doubt, my favorite piece you've ever written. I love all the advice about family, finances, and sport, but this one hit differently. This piece made me realize I had a mistaken impression of who you are. I already thought of you as someone to aspire to for your discipline and accomplishments. However, I hadn't really considered you someone who could relate to a "normie" like me who tries to do his best, but doesn't have the discipline or successes that you have earned. Your thoughts on optimization really spoke to where I am in my journey. Maybe I don't have to be so hard on myself when its the journey that matters more than the optimized result.